


Stars and Butterflies

by Cleomi_Gadon



Category: Hakuouki
Genre: F/M, Romance, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2020-07-08 19:45:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19875070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cleomi_Gadon/pseuds/Cleomi_Gadon
Summary: A lady of noble birth must be educated in singing, dance and the art of war. This story begins on the day when prince Kuze sent his daughter Akabara to Kyoto to serve the Shinsengumi as an Onna Bugeisha. A forbidden love blossoms between her and one of the warriors.Saito Hajime x OC





	1. Leaving Shimousa

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to GrnEydDvl, rei-ryoku and my english teacher for beta reading.  
> This is the english translation of my german fanfiction.
> 
> Visit my DeviantArt page to see pictures of Saito and Akabara, as well as my current doujinshi project: https://www.deviantart.com/cleomigadon

_Kuze residence in Edo 1864 Japan_

The prince of Kuze died on an autumn night. The red maple covered the courtyard of the Kuze residence and here and there a gust of wind whirled up the foliage, making it look as if the leaves were dancing in circles around each other. They spun around in a swirl of red and orange, only to flutter to the ground shortly afterwards.

Six Hatamoto banner-bearers were watching over the big gate, which demarcated the domicile of the Kuze from the rest of the world. The voices rose louder and then went quiet again, a murmur that swelled like the humming of an alarmed swarm of bees.

The leafy ground was suddenly lit by dancing lights coming from the lanterns carried by a group of soldiers.

A monk stepped out from the crowd. He knelt in front of the maple and lit an incense stick on a shrine that rested on its roots. Three wooden slats were already placed on the shrine, the so-called Sotoba, where the names of the deceased predecessors of Kuze were written. It was the time of Tsuya, the death wake.

What started in the Kuzes‘ home with a whisper soon became known through the whole country. It was the beginning of a new rule. Hiroyuki Kuze, the deceased prince's ﬁrstborn son, was promoted to daimyo after his father's death and was given the Sekiyado domain in the Shimousa province.

The start of the rule of the new young daimyo made the common folk wonder what changes it might bring.

The daimyo were now the most powerful princes and local rulers. They belonged to the Buke, the sword nobility. The members of this estate were the Bushi and thus the womb of the samurai. With the establishment of the shogunate, the Bushi were the most powerful group in the country and thus no power someone wanted to turn against. But people were proved wrong in their assumptions. The new prince was not like his father. He used his power to support the interests of Japan. And like a farmer growing rice, he began cultivating the smallest seeds on and off his ﬁeld. One of these seeds was the Shinsengumi alliance with the shogunate. Even the prince had to submit to the shogun.

This story begins on the day when prince Kuze sent his daughter Akabara to Kyoto to serve the Shinsengumi as an Onna Bugeisha. 

Akabara Kuze earned the respect of her entourage at an early age because of her riding, archery and sword skills. Her father, the daimyo, Hiroyuki Kuze called her 'Akabara', which means red rose. She combined ﬁghting spirit and grace. 

A lady of noble birth must be educated in singing, dance and the art of war. At the age of sixteen, and as a lady of standing, It was a conventional daimyo ritual to involve the offspring in the war‚ in order for them to become proud warriors and return gloriously to their homes.

The headquarters of the Shinsengumi was located in Mibu in Kyoto's immediate vicinity.

The squad that escorted Akabara consisted of only ten men. Anyone who believed that this was not enough protection for the young prince's daughter was wrong. Each of the Hatamoto Samurai by her side was worth ten more warriors. They had been prepared for battle since their childhood and would protect their mistress with their lives. As for Akabara, she would do the same for her henchmen and she would not hesitate.

The Fukucho of the group, Daisuke Yamada, watched his mistress inconspicuously out of the corner of his eye as she rode beside him. His dark eyes finally rested on the sword at her hip.

Daisuke was one of the strongest warriors Japan had produced. As one of the bodyguards of the Kuze, he participated in numerous battles with Akabara, and had yet to be defeated in any of them. His main weapon was a katana, known as Daikoku Masamune, which scared any enemy away. Akabara owned the sister of his blade, Kyogoku Masamune. The two swords were legendary and were passed down from ruler to ruler. To give such a sword to a Hatamoto was a great honor and a testament of the conﬁdence the prince had in Daisuke.

Daisuke looked back at his mistress. Her face was impassive and was partially obscured by her long blond hair. This made it harder to read her expression, but he had known her since childhood. The way she gripped the horse's reins gave away her true feelings. She didn’t want to be here. But she would not be Akabara if she had resisted her father's command like a rebellious child. Instead, she had simply accepted it and kept silent. The only evidence of her annoyance was her knuckles, which slowly turned white from her ﬁrm grip.

"Kuze-dono, do not worry, your father sent you here because he really sees the benefit in it."

She raised her head and gazed carefully at him with her pale green eyes, before a despondent smile crept over her lips.

"He wants to punish me," she replied softly.

"You shouldn’t have said that he can’t teach you anything anymore," Daisuke said politely. 

Akabara's shoulders barely sagged at this comment. "Thanks, now I feel much better," she muttered sarcastically and Daisuke gave a harsh laugh. She blushed furiously and brushed a strand of her hair behind her ears. "Heya." She drove her horse into a quick gallop and the samurai in her wake did the same.

_Headquarters of the Shinsengumi_

"M’lady Kuze-dono," she was greeted by the dark voice of the Shinsengumi Fukucho.

He had long, black hair and serious violet eyes. He knelt down and bowed low with his palms on the ﬂoor. His comrades followed his example. Akabara waved Daisuke into the room and knelt down in front of Hijikata Toshizo. He raised his head and straightened up. 

"Thank you, Hijikata-san, but please use normal greetings while I'm here," she gently asked.

Hijikata looked at her in surprise for a moment, then nodded and maneuvered himself into a cross-legged position.

"Your father wrote me a letter in which he explained everything. I cannot tell you how urgent the Shinsengumi need support," he said, and there was a sense of relief and malaise in his voice.

The other two men introduced themselves as Yamanami Keisuke and Kondo lsami. The man named Kondo lsami was the commander while Hijikata was his deputy. Yamanami Keisuke was the current Secretary General.

Kondo-san put a hand on his neck and laughed loudly. "Goodness, Toshi, don’t be so pessimistic, Kuze-dono will think we‘ve been completely lost."

"That‘s what we were,“ commented Yamanami dryly. “Without the ﬁnancial support of Hiroyuki Kuze-dono and the reinforcement, we would have been forced to leave Mibu."

"Err…, wellbut Sannan-san..." Kondo-san ﬂinched in embarrassment and caught an 'Are-you-serious' look from Hijikata-san.

For a moment Akabara's eyes widened and she stiffened. She had thought she would be meeting a group of dusty and stoic warriors, and now she was kneeling before these... peculiar guys. Eventually she decided to politely ignore what they had said and gave the commander an unreadable smile. She had somehow gotten used to that smile, and whoever saw it could not guess what she really thought. "Thank you Kondo-san, I am honored to assist you and I want to stay here to help as long as my father likes it," she assured him.

She pushed her hair over her shoulders so that it ﬂowed over her back, and rose. The men rose quickly too. The man they all called 'Sannan-san,‘ pointed with his arm out. "Let me show you where you and your soldiers are housed, Kuze-dono."

She nodded and realized that the other two were staring at her. They quickly looked away.

Yes, she was used to curious looks. As a member of the Kuze Clan, she was not really able to remain unmolested. She turned on her heel and followed Sannan-san to her quarters.

_The next morning_

The news of her arrival had evidently gone around, for whenever she listened closely, she heard whispering which abruptly faded as it approached her area of the yard. She had been accommodated separately from her henchmen and could not really complain about the decor of the rooms. They really tried hard and what was there was enough for Akabara. Although the domicile of the Kuze was large and magniﬁcent, it nevertheless captivated with its simplicity. As a member of the sword nobility, her great-grandfather remembered the simple life and the way of the sword, which is why no Kuze lived in great luxury.

Akabara got up from her futon and started rolling it up. Then she slipped out of her white Yukata and began to dress. Her normal everyday clothes consisted of a long red Yukata. It was cut in on the left side along her legs. The entire outfit gave her the maximum freedom of movement she needed in the event of a ﬁght. On her feet she usually wore Tabi socks and Zori. Finally, she put a black leather strap around her waist and stowed her Katana and Wakizashi in it.

She opened the Fusuma that separated her room from the courtyard and stepped onto the wooden porch in front of it. The courtyard was empty except for a large sakura tree standing proudly in the middle… 

Akabara leaned against the railing, studying the sakura petals in the wind. The pleasant breeze stroked her skin. She closed her eyes and allowed herself a moment of weakness.

Suddenly she heard a rustling and turned around hastily. At one corner of the porch stood a man she did not recognize. His blue eyes were partially obscured by dark, lilac hair.

He had been watching her. Their eyes met and for a moment both seemed equally startled but the stranger recovered much faster.

Feeling shy after the situation in which he had caught her, it was difficult for her to return his gaze, so her eyes wandered to the swords he wore on the right hip. Oh... right? Was he left-handed? Interesting. She looked up again at his face and immediately felt a wave of shock shoot through her body. His eyes were uncomfortably penetrating. As if he could look deep inside her. 

Didn’t… he wish to say something?

"Sumimasen," he suddenly said, revealing a deep, yet velvet voice.

Before Akabara could reply, he dropped to his knees and bowed low. "M’lady, Kuze-dono, I didn’t mean to scare you," he assured her in a serious voice that made it difﬁcult to perceive any emotion.

The anxiety that had spread in her stomach subsided and she felt herself in control again. A second later he stood up and she returned his gaze directly this time as she smiled at him. It was the same unreadable smile which she had given Kondo. She would not let him see how nervous he had made her.

"What's your name?" She ﬁnally asked.

It took a fraction of a second before he answered. "Saito Hajime, M’lady."

Suddenly the strange tension was interrupted by a loud clatter and a boy her age with a long braid jumped out from behind one of the Fusuma on the opposite side of the yard. Shortly after, a man with a green headband followed. “GAAH, Heisuke you little louse, just wait till i get my hands on you!“

"You have to be faster for that, Shinpachi-san, if you can even keep up with your old bones...ahahaha!"

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" barked another deep voice.

Hijikata-san also appeared, furious and with a throbbing vein on his temple. Annoyed, he looked towards the two troublemakers and put his hands on his hips in resignation, then he turned to Akabara and Saito with an apologetic look.

"Kuze-dono... Forgive this outburst of silly behavior. I am afraid you will only think the worst of the Shinsengumi if this continues…"

Akabara shook her head slowly. "No," she answered calmly. She could feel Saito-san's eyes burning on her face.

Hijikata sighed in relief, then straightened. "I want to discuss something with you, if you would please follow me."

She nodded and followed Hijikata-san but she turned after brief hesitation. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Saito-san,“ she proclaimed. Then she hurriedly turned back, because something inside her knew he was going to look her way until she disappeared. The anxious feeling of the previous moment suddenly reappeared in her stomach.


	2. The Wolves Of Mibu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hijikata has a request. Saito's eyes are scary. Akabara wonders if something is wrong with her.

In Mibu the Shinsengumi were hated. A stinking, herb snifﬁng, pack of upstarts. Yes, one hardly dared to whisper, and yet in the evenings one crowded into the brothels to revolt with so much sake.

How far should it go, when legalized gangs have taken over your completely intrepid city? Yes, they were despised. The men in the pale blue haori were always secretly observed as they made their rounds.

They should stay away, these no-better-than-Ronin-dogs. Not all of them were even samurai of high birth. Farmers, artisans and worse - traitors.

And how blatantly they wielded their power, these bunglers… What a presumption to walk around with sword like a status symbol, when they were less than dust, no dirt. Yeah, right, dirt, that's what they were.

You have to tie them up on the spot. Someone should do it right now! Oh God, oh God. A pleasant shower of righteousness went through them all, when they blasphemed and staggered, like drunken rhinoceroses.

Of course, it was out of the question to openly criticize the Shinsengumi. Who knows what they would do then? Beware, they were allowed to execute anyone. And if they smelled blood...what then? The people were almost shaking. It was grotesque.

This is how the people carried on, while things were calm, for even if they hated to admit it, the Shinsengumi brought order to the city. One could no longer drink inordinately or rape, and they all had to pay taxes. How they resisted and, oh, how they hated with a fervor, when they felt the boot of justice at their neck.

_Headquarters of the Shinsengumi_

Akabara followed Hijikata as he showed her around. He had spent the last hour showing her every nook and cranny in the headquarters and providing informative notes. Her reaction was usually limited to a nod or an interested 'Ah'.

Finally, they made their way to the meeting room, since it was already time for lunch. Akabara took a big step forward; she had a hard time keeping up with his pace.

According to his expression, he was determined - for whatever reason. Akabara was sure she would find out soon enough.

"Kuze-dono...," he began hesitantly, avoiding her gaze. "The men are upset… There are conﬂicts in the hub of our responsible area. We are not respected and the villagers do not recognize us as protectors," he told her without looking at her face.

Just then, a tangle of voices swirled as they got closer to the Shinsengumi assembly room.

Ah, she knew it. The day on which to use her peerage was undoubtedly unavoidable, but that moment had approached so early, she suddenly lost her appetite.

The two stopped at the Fusuma, which separated them from the main commotion. Akabara crossed her arms over her chest and looked carefully at Hijikata. "What do you expect from me, Hijikata-san?"

As if to arm himself, Hijikata took a deep breath before releasing what was burning in his soul. "I know it is below your dignity and it is a condescension if you give in to my, no, our desire, but your presence on the road during the patrol would legitimize our troops in front of the townspeople, above all, who do not want to recognize us. You… you would do us a great service. Sure, you have come here to help us with upcoming battles, but please, understand, if this battle isn’t won here, the Shinsengumi will never thrive to their full potential!"

Akabara opened her mouth to say something, but closed it again before she even released a sound. She found his passionate request so disarming that it left her speechless. It was a good feeling and this man in front of her was a good man. She would be a hypocrite if she refused his request and, in the end, she did not really mind. After all, it was not the guarding of the streets that displeased her. She would be the focus of attention and they would gawk and whisper. It did not really matter to her what some people on the street hissed behind her back, but it was uncomfortable and she wanted to avoid it.

_But now stay rational, you silly goose._

She thought for another moment, then looked deep into Hijikata's eyes and disentangled her arms. "Of course, I will do anything you ask. My father sent me to you only for that purpose."

Hijikata's face brightened. "You honor me Kuze-dono, thank you. Well, all in all, my captains - one you've already met - as well as the higher-ranking soldiers of our division and your entourage."

He gestured to the sliding door and Akabara nodded. He opened it, doubling the noise. Now a little excitement was spreading inside her. That meant... was he there too? That man… the man who had stared so taxingly at her? The man with the indigo hair and the blue eyes? There was a feeling she could not really classify.

Was that normal? Presumably, it was only natural to feel a little bit sensitive when being watched. Exactly, that was probably it. She admonished herself sternly, drew in air sharply, and deliberately entered the room. Hijikata followed at a slight distance.

As she entered, the voices suddenly grew louder, and all at once the gaze of all the men in the room fell upon her. She spotted Daisuke, who raised a hand to make himself noticed, a wicked grin on his lips. That scoundrel!

"SlLENCE!", Hijikata roared quite loudly, while at the same time straightening up to full height, literally unfolding, like a threatening fall of trees, before sitting next to Kondo. The men in front of him shrank imperceptibly and the volume reached civilian heights again.

Akabara avoided a man who almost ran into her with his tray, whereupon he turned red and stumbled backwards with endless apologies. She hurried to get to Daisuke. What a gauntlet. She felt like she was being needled by the many pairs of eyes.

She took a seat next to her childhood friend. 

In front of her was a black tray with all sorts of food. Unfamiliar. Such food never existed in her father's residence. That almost looked like… a whole fried ﬁsh! Its eyes bulged like two pale marbles that had lain too long in the sun.

Yuck.

Daisuke chuckled slightly as he rested his hands on his knees and leaned slightly over to her. He sat cross-legged beside her and watched her reaction closely. "Too rustic, M’lady?"

Akabara visibly stiffened. "Don’t be silly, Daisuke. I'm not a spoiled thing, I can eat that," she replied coolly. She cut off a piece of the ﬁsh head and put it in her mouth 

_ Ugh. _

The look on her face gave it away.

Daisuke snorted derisively. "Superb, M’lady."

The hustle and bustle over their emergence had ﬁnally settled down and Akabara even dared to study their future colleagues without constantly been spotted watching them. There were the soldiers, of course. All righteous men. But nothing that attracted attention or gave cause for concern.

She set about spying on the captains. There was one who seemed very nice, a brother type with long red hair and golden eyes. His neighbors were a powerhouse and a young guy around Akabara's age. True, she had seen two of them early this morning. A pretty wild encounter one might say. Next to it… a guy… hard to judge, with sharp green eyes and brown hair. He sat there with his arms crossed, his plate in front of him untouched. Akabara looked away immediately. She realized instantly that this one was no easy companion.

She let her eyes wander across the rows and… DODOMM! She was so frightened, as if there had been a loud bang, until she realized that her own heart had made that big leap. Only her steadfast self-control prevented her from letting the chopsticks slip out of her ﬁngers, like two slippery shrimps. Ultramarine eyes dug deep into her own, and before she knew it, her stomach tightened painfully.

Saito Hajime, the third division captain, held her with his eyes as if looking for something. After a second that seemed like her lifespan, he looked away and looked at his plate as if nothing had happened. His expression betrayed no reaction. It almost seemed as if a gigantic wall had been drawn around him, hard and impenetrable.

_And I thought that only I could do that_ , she thought.

Cursed. It was this man again. And again, he had managed to catch her in that disturbing way, when she was just careless. He deﬁnitely had a talent for it! She quickly lowered her eyes to her plate again. No one had ever managed to get her off balance. She frowned and straightened slightly.

"What is it?"

Daisuke gently rested his ﬁngertips on her shoulder and studied her face. She brushed his hand away and shook her head. "Nothing."

In truth, she was dizzy. Maybe her body, her whole system was warning her about this guy. Maybe he was so thoroughly bad that her senses literally begged her to avoid him? Or maybe she was just foolish. Her head ached and she consumed the remainder of the meal in a haze of sinister thoughts.

_Headquarters of the Shinsengumi - Later_

_Sir,_

_I write you in the hope that you are well. As desired, I would like to send you a report of my actions. As you have already heard, the Shinsengumi are not in very good shape. I fear their reputation is no better than that of a stray group of Ronin. From now on my duty is to join the patrols. As far as my stay is concerned, so far I have been shown only kindness and generosity._

_Written on November 14, 1864, your humble and obedient daughter,_

_Akabara Kuze_

Akabara put the brush and ink aside and scanned the letter again. It would certainly be enough. Her father had ordered her not to miss a detail, but she would rather plunge into the river than to tell him about her deepest thoughts and feelings. 

Her relationship with her father was less marked by closeness and tenderness and more by conscientiousness. He was a serious samurai, with respectable strength. Despite his young age, he was respected everywhere. When Akabara was born, he was nearly eighteen winters old. But where he didn't lack determination or passion on the battleﬁeld, he lacked it in matters of his family. That didn’t mean that he didn’t take good care of his family. On the contrary, Hiroyuki was a prime example of loyalty and caring. Yet, all he did was to act out of pure ethos.

Akabara's parents did not marry for love, because members of the sword nobility married their children to victorious allies or even to superior enemies. Still.. You can’t say that Hiroyuki Kuze didn’t love his daughter, but you couldn‘t say the opposite either.

After the letter had been signed and sealed, Akabara put it in the hidden purse in her red petticoat and slipped on a light blue white-patterned Haori. It had been put into her room in a laced package, with an enclosed note from Hijikata-san, in which he politely asked her to wear it during her rounds.

It was the uniform of the Shinsengumi.

The feeling was quite strange, but she would certainly get used to it in the near future. And somehow it was fascinating too. The whole new structure of her everyday life now was very different from how it had been. Through the Haori, a strange sense of belonging began to stir in her.

Suddenly she frowned. If she had been honest with herself, she had been afraid since her arrival that she would not fit into the group and that she would be treated as an outsider.

Now...

She had to make a reasonable impression on her ﬁrst patrol today. It would decide whether the next few years of her life would be either hell on earth or safe.


	3. The Apple Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A direct hit.

By the time she passed the courtyard, she could already make out a large group of people gathering at the gate of the headquarters. They were all dressed in the same pale blue Haori that Akabara now wore. As she approached, she tried to ignore the prying eyes and scouted for Daisuke in the crowd. He was not visible.

Wait ... Akabara recalled the conversation that she had had with him after yesterday's meal. He was supposed to join another group, and this was the third unit. The soldiers spun over the day to divide the troops appropriately. Timidly, she approached the men. The men of the third division didn't dare speak to her. Some shyly shuffled their feet, glancing at her out of the corner of their eyes, others eyed her thoughtfully, but bowed quickly as soon as they met her gaze. Also, the conversations were no longer lively after her arrival.

Akabara swallowed gently. She knew that she herself had to be more open in order to gain the trust of these men. It was unclear how long she would stay, and being familiar with the men who would fight beside one's shoulder in battle was especially significant in times of war. In order to break the ice, she had no choice but to seek contact. After a brief look around, she targeted a young man. He was her age and looked quite confused. His eyes were wide open and his brown hair was all over his head like wild lint, as if he had forgotten to comb it.

"Are you alright ...?" Akabara asked softly so that the others would not hear. He flinched rather violently and his already pale face became disconcertingly white. "Er…I’m fine, I'm just ...," he stammered nervously, "It's my first day today."

"Oh." Akabara could not stop a smile from emerging on her lips. "Mine too. I guess we are both nervous then. What's your name?“

The young man looked up at her smiling face for a moment, then hastily pulled his eyes away from her. "Takeo, M'lady. I do not want to disappoint the captain, but Saito-sama knows very well that I'm the weakest man in the group. I just do not want to cause any trouble but as they say, 'a group is only as strong as its weakest link."

Saito-sama?

Fate, if there was one, could not be so malicious that it would force her to walk for hours through the streets with this man. This very unpleasant man with his piercing blue eyes. Her horror must have become briefly visible on her face, because Takeo had a worried expression. "Uh… M'lady Kuze-dono? Is everything alright?" The young man eyed her nervously.

"Um...yes," she hurried to explain and cleared her throat, because her voice came out coarse.

Only a few seconds later Saito appeared and the effect his presence had on his troop was quite clear. They all tensed up and in their eyes Akabara recognized a devout loyalty to their captain. Akabara blinked. He WAS popular. Suddenly she wondered if she had been wrong about him. Normally, she did not care about prejudice. Had she fallen victim to it in his case? Without warning, he turned to her. His expression was inscrutable.

"M'lady, thank you for taking the effort to join us, it honors me." Although Saito was only an arm's length away and his voice was calm and collected, Akabara felt like he was yelling at her over a rice field. His words were polite and implausible. Because his face was stoic.

She was really trying to conceal her caution, but he seemed to see through her as shrewdly as she saw through him. Their eyes met again and this time it was not as terrible as before. In the open sunlight, the blue of his eyes seemed even brighter and more powerful, as if reflecting the color of the sky. Instead of royal blue, the area around his pupil now turned bright azure. No matter how Akabara looked at it, she could not help but notice that he had fascinating eyes. And suddenly she began to wonder how those eyes would look adorned with other emotions. A fascinating idea, one might think…

She was torn from her thoughts when she realized that Saito wasn't in front of her anymore. The spot he had stood in was empty now. She saw him talking to Takeo and assigning the soldiers according to their ranks. Occasionally he tucked a lavender strand of hair behind his ear or pointed his long male fingers in one direction. "M'lady, you are in the front row.“ When Saito spoke to her again, she let out a breath that she hadn't realized she had been holding in. "Yes ...", she replied, oh so witty (not). She became reluctant again. She knew beforehand that he would let her walk next to him. Surely he had been ordered to take care of her. Unnecessary. She was able to defend herself should it become dangerous.

A hand landed on her shoulder with a gentle but steady pressure. She spun around, only to look into Daisuke's face. His black hair hung wildly in his face and he smirked slightly. Akabara frowned, Saito and the other soldiers just looked over, which she was well aware of.

"Daisuke, what are you doing here? You were not assigned to this patrol and you only distract me from my duties. Do you wish to get me into trouble on my first day? And why are you wearing the uniform?" she whispered in panic.

"I would never embarrass you."

He laughed briefly at Akabara's irritated look.

"I have my patrol right after you."

"Ah," she answered, disinterested.

"What do you think of the uniform?" he asked her with a smile.

"I think it's good," she replied curtly.

"Thanks for the compliment." Daisuke positioned himself so that she could examine him better.

Akabara narrowed her eyes in annoyance. "Do you need a hearing aid? I said the uniform is good, not that you were!"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong with me. Now be so kind as to leave, before I make a bad impression on my group."

"As you wish, M’lady."

Daisuke bowed slightly (not without a hint of sarcasm) and set about putting her command into action and making himself scarce.

The inhabitants of Mibu seemed to be engrossed in their busy life, and every time someone raised their heads and crossed Akabara's gaze, the person's eyes were wandering to her sword and the Kuze blazon attached to it, only then to look back into her face in disbelief. Excited gossip followed the group...

People couldn't believe their eyes… The young prince's daughter as a figurehead of this devilish grouping. Terrible! They were wondering if they could still get upset and complain about the Shinsengumi without insulting prince Kuze. Anyway, who said that this girl was a threat? She did not look like a warrior who knew how to swing the sword with that face of hers. But quiet, didn't you hear what they said about this clan? Each one is well trained. The people, although wary, bowed here and there before hastily returning to their work.

The patrol was much less tense than Akabara had feared. To walk along Saito was somehow ... nice. The two of them had silently walked side by side, but despite the lack of conversation, it was not an embarrassing silence but a consensual revel in the silence.

Sometimes his arm touched her flank. Every time it happened, the two of them shot awkwardly apart and mumbled incomprehensible words of apology. Akabara realized that Saito was adapting to her pace and when he got a few inches of advantage, he fell back in a subtle way so that they were right next to each other again (and crashed into each other again).

Akabara smiled and grazed his eyes, causing her smile to collapse a bit and she quickly looked elsewhere. She crossed her arms over her chest. The silence wasn't so pleasant anymore and to make matters worse, it was suddenly very quiet except for the footsteps of the soldiers behind them. They had arrived in a less bustling part of the city, and the houses, as well as the people, seemed far more neglected than in the center of the market district.bThe facades were mostly damaged and the laundry hung from the lines directly down the street and in open windows, Akabara noticed a small boy, running slightly bent under the weight of a large basket. His clothes were worn, his scrawny body was malnourished and he was certainly not older than eight winters. If she hadn't known better, she would have been convinced that she had arrived in a completely different city. The truth, however, was that this was the slum of the city and the people living here were scant and neglected.

Akabara felt a lump forming in her throat as she spotted the beggars and day laborers on the roadside. Sure, she'd seen misery and death in battle, but this ... was another kind of a miserable thing. Less heroic, less bloody and yet so much more influenced by everyday bravery that she almost felt a nausea. Where she grew up there were no such problems. She only heard about these people, just as you hear of a fairytale as a child. It was there, but she had never seen it with her own eyes until this moment.

She watched Saito out of the corner of her eye and noticed that this sight seemed to elicit little response from him and the soldiers. They were patrolling this route all the time, they probably got used to the misery and... accepted it? It was not their job or their command to help these people and yet it worried her.

She put all her effort into a neutral face and was just about to turn around with the others, then she saw how a tall, fat man stepped out of a crooked little hut. Before him knelt the little boy she had seen before. Akabara listened with half an ear as the conversation switched from apples to price quotes and then abruptly stopped, interrupted by a high-pitched yelp coming from the boy. His basket had toppled over and the apples rolled to the floor and spread out on the street.

The big man stepped to the boy and grabbed him by the collar of his rags. "You little bastard, do you want to sell me rotten apples? I'll make sure you disappear."

The boy whimpered and trembled all over. As he tried to put the apples back in the basket, the man knocked him back with his elbow. "Hands off, street mutt!" He barked. Wide-eyed, the boy grabbed his tormentor by the hem. "Please, sir...!" He pleaded and the man shook him in rage. "Out of my way or I will beat the-" The man got interrupted lightning fast. His hand was already raised and his mouth wide open in his furious roar, when suddenly a small red apple came in, landed in his throat stuffing his mouth violently.

Saito spun around. Before he could intervene, Lady Kuze had picked up one of the apples and threw it. Her beautiful pale green eyes were wide, as if she herself could not believe what she had just done.

After being petrified for a moment, Akabara approached the boy, hesitantly picking up yet another apple and gently started setting the other apples in the boy's basket. The boy only watched her with his mouth open, then he swallowed hard and hesitantly rose. He nervously ventured closer and helped her collect the fruits.

"Ughh."

The 'gagged' man staggered toward her, swinging his big fists like a rotating mill-wheel. With the apple in his mouth he looked like a Sunday roast.

Saito did not hesitate. It was his duty to protect Lady Kuze. He shouldn't, no, he couldn't let anything happen to her. He stormed toward the man, pointing the tip of his katana threateningly at his throat. "Control yourself. I will not forgive any further offenses," he commanded in a warning voice. The brute snorted, eyeing Saito's sword with suspicion. Then his little pig's eyes wandered over the ranks of Saito's soldiers ready to draw the sword. He spit out the apple and it landed at his feet. "Take the rotten fruit and the little beggar, you'll see what it is worth," he growled.

Saito's blue eyes narrowed and the man backed away. He looked at Lady Kuze and a grimy grin spread across his face. "What a blessing that you're not alone here…"

Akabara just looked at him blankly and turned away. She did not think it necessary to answer. The man glanced at Saito and froze. Confused, he stumbled backward and swallowed, then he stomped away under the murmurs of some onlookers. Something in Saito's eyes must have made him realize that his last words would have ultimate consequences if he dared to go on speaking.

Saito stowed his sword back in the associated Saya and turned to Lady Akabara. Her lips blossomed into a pretty smile. "Thank you, Saito-san.“ Saito thought for a moment, not sure what he could say and felt his ears turn hot. It was not exactly wrong what she had done. In case of felonious conflicts, the Shinsengumi had to intervene and yet ... She had endangered herself and Saito would have preferred she had left him to act, but he could not help but admire her reaction.

There was something else ... An almost imperceptible smile was forming on his lips. She always seemed to be very deliberate and distant, so it was somehow ... satisfying ... to realize that she could be lured out of reserve. She seemed to have a strong sense of justice, and Saito was disturbed by how his interest in her grew. He looked at Lady Kuze as she helped the boy collect his fruit and his eyes grazed her slender figure. She was attractive. He had, of course, noticed how she affected the other men at the headquarters. He began to wonder if it was wise to let a girl like her live among a group of men. It did not seem right to him. It was ... indecent. Especially for a princess.

Of course she could probably defend herself. He had not yet witnessed her sword skills, but he had heard enough not to underestimate her. She came from a very old samurai family and he was sure that she could handle the blade excellently. Not least, he had noticed how differently the inhabitants of Mibu reacted to the Shinsengumi as soon as Lady Kuze was present. But Saito pondered whether it was her appearance or the legendary sword she carried with her. It was probably both and yet something else. Something indefinable that he could not describe as soon as he looked at her and that bewitched his mind. Was it possible that every man felt it when he looked at her or was he under an illusion?

He did not even dare to think more about this feverish emotion. It was annoying to him whenever he failed to control his emotions and this affect was hindering him greatly in his work. Surely it wasn't something he couldn't just forget during a hard sword training. In the few moments in his life when he was involuntarily confronted with a strong soul-stirring, he had always managed to restore his inner calmness through the sword.

His thoughts were interrupted as Lady Kuze straightened up. The abrupt movement made her hair swing around her shoulders and a flowery scent blew around his nose. It was a dazzling fragrance. And if she had not started to speak, he would probably be completely frozen.

"Here you are, this is for you.“ She held something out to the boy and, as the boy accepted the offer, Saito spotted money. There was a lot of it. Definitely enough for the boy to live for a while. The boy stared at Lady Kuze in disbelief and turned bright red. When she asked for his name, he replied that his name was Haruto. He stammered a thank you and bowed five times in a row. Then he still stumbled away completely stunned.

Saito was silent. He had his own opinion on such behavior. It was too kind-hearted and it was naive.

After the turmoil had subsided, the soldiers of the third unit ventured closer to their captain. They had been waiting careful if their captain would give them instructions and Takeo hesitantly turned to Lady Kuze. "You can not help everyone, M'lady. The little boy will probably get robbed and in the next corner they will-"

"Takeo."

Saito interrupted him. Well … what Takeo suspected was quite possible, but the moment Saito saw Lady Kuze's facial expression, he suddenly wished the guy would shut up. "Let us return. It's time for the shift change."


	4. Damsel In Distress

Akabara sat cross-legged on the part of the terrace that belonged to her room and combed her hair. It had been several hours since her shift, and when the red sun finally slipped behind the horizon and alternated with the moon, Daisuke came from his round and sat down next to her. "You're plastering the mob with fruits now? I was already wondering when the megalomania of your ancestors would make itself perceptible in you." 

She aimed for him with the brush, but he backed away deftly. Akabara frowned. "Who told you?" 

Daisuke lay down on the terrace with his arms folded behind his head and put his leg over his right knee. "The soldiers from Saito-kun's troop have told it all over. I heard it from a guy.. Takeo? Or something like that." 

"Oh, I already know him, we talked. I didn’t expect him to be so... talkative ..." she replied thoughtfully. 

"How easily one can be misled“, Daisuke whispered." 

"Tell me, what exactly are you up to?" she asked, giving the dark-haired man a scrutinizing look. 

The said man did not beat around the bush and pulled an envelope from the folds of his clothes. "Your father", he said and handed her the letter, but at the last moment pulled it away from her accessing hand. He imitated her father's voice. "Akabara is the heir to all my fortune because the rest of my family would spend the money on opium anyway. Sob." 

Akabara snorted, picked up the letter quickly, and started to slash it open. She unfurled the parchment and started reading. 

"And?" Daisuke wanted to know. 

"He ... demands my presence at a festival to honor the Tennō and Tokugawa Yoshinobu. It looks like Tennō Komei intended his son Prince Meiji to marry and has invited the nobility for this occasion." 

Daisuke frowned. "Why would he invite you there, we have just arrived and the journey would take days?"

"No. Komei is already in Kyoto," she replied. 

Daisuke sat up now and took the letter from her hand. "What are his intentions?" He mused, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. Akabara plucked the letter out of his hand and stood up. 

"I have to report this to Hijikata-san ...," she murmured and scurried past Daisuke, who looked at her puzzled.

~

"I understand ...," Hijikata-san murmured absently. "Of course, you have no choice but to obey your father's call and the Emperor's invitation." He sat cross-legged in front of Akabara, who knelt in front of him in the light of the candlelight and took a close look at her. "Are you allowed to take liegemen with you?" 

Akabara shook her head. "No, Hijikata-san. Only for escort to the summer palace. My soldiers are not invited for further celebrations," she replied. This 'celebration' would last forever, a soulless never-ending event. Apart from her father she would not have anyone there to talk to. But her wish to talk with him was limited anyway. In her mind's eye, the scenario took place as she stood in a corner for hours, her ears filled with superficial polite phrases of those present and the stomach crammed with western biscuits, which she actually did not like. 

Her displeasure must have been visible on her face, for Hijikata-san tore her from her brooding of gloomy thoughts. "Kondo-san and I were also invited by the Shogun. He intends to attend festivities with a few confidants." 

Akabara's eyes widened. "Oh ... who … else will be there?" She asked, trying to sound uninterested. Would Saito be there too? "Probably some of the captains. The Shogun alliance with the Shinsengumi and your father first made this important invitation possible. Of course, we will show ourselves from our best side," Hijikata-san answered. 

Akabara was not so sure that an invitation to the emperor's amusement was really as significant as Hijikata-san believed. For the most part, such festivals included only nobles who arrived already drunk and staggered away again, filled with expensive sake. She rose to leave Hijikata-san. "I'll see you at the party, Hijikata-san." 

"Sleep well, M’lady.“

~

_ In the summer palace of Tomeo Komei _

Akabara checked herself in the mirror and smoothed out the dazzling festival kimono, which clung to her body. She had arrived at about noon, approximately an hour ago, accompanied by Daisuke as her bodyguard. Already she could not wait for the party to be over and for him to come and pick her up. Back to Mibu into her small room with the pond and the cherry blossom tree in the forecourt…

When did she start longing to go back? She remembered well that at first it felt like a punishment. How ironic, because now she felt the same feeling here. A handmaid came up behind her and started combing her long hair. She took a few strands and artfully weaved them together on the back of Akabara's head. The remaining hair was flowing openly along the back of her mistress. After that she pinned a golden hairpin into the hairdo which had the shape of a cherry blossom. 

Her kimono had only two layers over its light Nagajuban and therefore looked less cumbersome. It was bright green and from pure silk. A golden dragon was embroidered on top of it and wound itself possessively around the wearer's body. The handmaid left the room with a bow and came back shortly afterwards with a three-meter-long, salmon obi and another maid. Together they put the obi on Akabara and tied it in the back to a bow. Finally, Akabara slipped into golden tabi socks and black sandals. Akabara had silently passed the procedure and thanked the handmaiden, who left the room with new bows.

The Fusuma opened and in walked a tall, slender man with blond hair and stern gray eyes. He wore a midnight blue Kimono and black Hakama. On his left hip there were a katana and a wakizashi. This man embodied that strange mixture of handsome and frightening that left an unpleasant aftertaste on the person whose gaze he was brushing. Because his eyes were able to grab the people where they were most sensitive. It was the prince of Shimousa. 

"Father ..." Akabara greeted him and bowed. 

Hiroyuki Kuze's eyes wandered over his daughter's face. His eyes followed the meandering dragon on her silk kimono up to her green eyes. "You're so very much alike," he said softly. 

Akabara swallowed nervously at the mention of her mother. "It's the kimono, it's hers, after all." 

Hiroyuki hesitated before answering. "Now it's yours." He approached his child, grabbed her shoulders, and slowly turned her around so she was facing the mirror, looking at him. Then, so quickly that she wondered how he had done it, he hung something around her neck. She reached for the talisman that rested on her chest. On the red and gold cord dangled a finely cut green gemstone in the shape of a hawk. The hawk was the spiritual leader of their clan. 

"Wear it." He simply asked. "Oh and something else... Tennō Komei wished for my daughter to dance for his company. I sincerely hope you did not neglect your talent in favor of swordplay." 

Akabara's hand dropped. Suddenly, the idea of acidifying in a corner of boredom was very seductive. She lowered her eyes and avoided looking at her father as she answered in a hollow voice. "No, father. Of course not." He smiled and let go of her. "I have to go, come as soon as you're ready. Not all guests are gathered yet." Akabara pressed her back against the wall after he left her. It wasn't a good sign that the Emperor wanted to see her dance. This party ... It was not an engagement party, as she had thought ... It ... was a bridal show.

Her terror grew. Didn't anyone wish to know what she thought about it? 

Maybe they would laugh? Akabara had spent the past few years achieving perfection with the sword, and certainly her dance had suffered. She wasn't a geisha. She was a samurai. She reached for the hawk at her breast. "Do not let me regret it…," she whispered as if speaking out loud would seal it. 

The maid appeared and was ready to accompany her to the party. "Lady Kuze-dono, please follow me."

* * *

The echo of her footsteps was unnaturally loud and intrusive. She bit her lower lip and swallowed nervously, imagining all sorts of scenarios she could ridicule. She stopped when she heard the gentle play of instruments. The music was beautiful. It was the kind of song that left a sweet resonance long after it ebbed away. 

The handmaid opened one of the Fusuma and Akabara entered a large hall in gold and red. The floor was made of shimmering tiles in which it reflected. In a large circle the guests sat around the round dance floor spread. Between them baskets and bowls of food were placed and servants hurried around to serve the guests. Tennō Komei and the shogun sat at the top of the hall. Further to the right, Akabara spotted her father and ... Hijikata-san. She jumped inwardly when she realized who was also kneeling next to Hiroyuki in the row. Kondo-san, Okita-san and ... Saito-san. 

She reached for the hawk at her breast as she stepped to the Emperor's podium and bowed. "My Lord ..." 

The emperor had dark hair and severe eyes. He wasn't old, but he looked worn like an archaic ceiling plaster. A price he had paid for governing. His hands spread around the back of his throne-like chair. When she looked at the Emperor again, he smiled at her. The smile was very friendly but her veins filled with ice. "Dance for me, my child." He clapped his hands and a few more musicians sat down.

Akabara slowly withdrew to the middle of the room and closed his eyes waiting. For her, music was like the flapping of a wing beat, the escape and the return to a past life full of loss and beauty. She hugged the music and the music took control again. She found herself in another world. A world of possibilities. She felt two soft hands leading her hands. They were so familiar to her. The hands of a mother. She wasn’t free. But in her dance she regretted nothing. Not one single thing. The music ended and had the same swinging sound of bare trees in the winter when Akabara sank to her knees to bow. 

~ 

Saito preferred to watch the action instead of joining the serene conversation between Kondo-san and the Emperor's vassals. He noticed that Souji was watching him, ignoring his piercing, sideways glances. Almost as a cat approached a mouse, Souji scoured seeking vulnerability. He tried this a lot recently. He probably did it out of outraged pride. It wasn't the first time that Saito had subdued him in battle. But Saito was unwilling to offer him a way to attack him now. 

Instead, he looked at Hiroyuki Kuze, who was sitting at the Emperor's right, smiling as he said something to him. Saito found himself looking around the room. No. If she were here, then her place would be next to her father. "Ne, Hajime-kun ... are you looking for someone?" Souji leaned forward slightly. 

"No." Saito's tone was cold. 

Souji laughed softly and let himself be replenished with an amused expression. The celebration became more and more lively and Saito's hope slowly evaporated, when the door opened and - at first unnoticed - two figures entered the hall. His pulse quickened. He must have drunk too much because his throat was burning. Outwardly his stoic face revealed nothing, but he could not hide the way his eyes widened. The other guests eventually took note of them.

Timidly she paid tribute. A strange feeling ran through Saito when the Emperor asked her to dance. He could tell that she was feeling unwell. Saito swallowed. At least in that one moment, there was nothing that would have fueled his interest more. 

It seemed like it was the only way her body could really speak. Verbally, she was discreet, a person who wanted to be invisible. Almost shy. But her dance was a dazzling art form made up of graceful movements. So ... fleet-footed. On the stage of her personality, her sensuality broke into the most vivid image of a beautiful soul. And Saito watched her with insatiable eyes. He could not deny that her twisting to the music was tantalizing as her kimono swung around her like shackles. The innocence of her performance got a bizarre bite from her loveliness. What seemed harmless exuded an oppressive aftertaste indebted to an attraction that sang mysteriously. 

Finally she sank to her knees, leaned forward and laid her hands flat on the floor in a low bow. When she got up again and turned around, she noticed him. For a second, Saito got the impression that she was avoiding his gaze. A circumstance that would not have normally bothered him coming from any other woman. With her, however, it worried him.

~

Saito-san had not looked at her once since she joined the group after her performance. Of course, she noticed that he spoke to others more than to her. He sat a distance away from her and in his left hand he held a cup of sake. His unfathomable blue eyes never looked where she was looking. It was not understandable to her, but it bothered her. The guests celebrated and drank boisterously to the Koto music and Akabara's efforts to ignore the emperor didn't seem to have any effect. 

Instead, Prince Meiji had joined her and it was not to ignore what her father intended. Prince Meiji turned to her, fidgeting nervously at his black robe. "Try the food Mylady Akabara. I promise you will enjoy it." She dutifully took a bite and ate the umeboshi on her tray as she struggled to hide her desperation. 

_You can't do this to me. You can not do this._

"I didn't expect that my daughter would eat anything. You have to have excellent cooks." Her father laughed lightly and some other guests began to join. Akabara looked up and that's when Saito looked at her. But she recognized neither compassion nor friendliness in his eyes. The answer almost stuck in her throat like a tragedy. The laughter faded like an echo in her ears. They can. 

Kondo-san gave her a friendly smile. "Kuze-dono. Watching you dance was really inspiring. Thank you." 

She noticed that Hijikata raised his eyebrows after exchanging a meaningful look with Okita-san. Like a last act of strength, she freed herself from Saito's gaze. The Emperor nodded and got up. He aimed his fan at Akabara's father like a threatening spear. "A woman should balance our lack of grace, don't you think? I will send you an imperial messenger in two moons, Hiroyuki. I have more issues to discuss with the Kuze Clan." 

_Headquarters of the Shinsengumi_

Akabara sat by the pond in the yard of the compound. It was night and the moon was barely visible in the haze of the cold autumn days. The last moments of the festival played out again in her mind's eye. Did she have to marry in two months? Or ... didn't the Emperor mean it that way and she had misinterpreted all? It had been more than a month since her father, Prince Kuze, sent her to Mibu. 

She and Daisuke had settled in slowly and they regularly joined the patrol. Akabara didn't feel as uncomfortable as before anymore. She got along well with the men. The Baka trio were especially sociable when they were not drunk or wanted to mess with her. She still was not sure about Okita. He was not directly rude, but behind his playful grin hid a very scary person. 

And then there was Saito. He still made no sense to her. But after all this time, she could no longer lie to herself. She was interested in him. Akabara had often caught herself as she secretly watched him. His calm and composed demeanor, his long, slender fingers, the ocean blue eyes. As she sat there listening to the lapping of the water, she imagined what it would be like. How about those beautiful hands touching her cheek? And to be watched by these eyes. She closed her eyes and a question echoed through her mind, _Am I in love?_

But what was that feeling? Certainly not what one could read in a romance novel or discover on offensive shunga woodcuts. Can ... man and woman really do this together....? She took a deep breath and shook her head. A person like him and someone like her ... her dad would take his head. He wasn't of noble birth. At least in her father's eyes. Saito had also clearly signaled that he had no interest in her. He was always reserved and stoic. It seemed like he was avoiding her. 

And hadn't her father already sold her without her consent? She heard her inner ghost condemning her. _'Because you never resisted. And how could you?'_ Right. She laid on her back and played dead once again. Even if she was so happy to be liked in return, it would be impossible due to her rank. She could never risk the life of a man to fulfill her own desire for love.

* * *

Further away from Akabara, a shadow separated itself from the blackness of the night and a male silhouette stood out in the moonlight. A person may be able to hide a grin behind a hand, but the movements of the eyes usually reveal the truth behind an emotionless face. And behind his veil of blue forget-me-nots were a lot of well-hidden thoughts. Saito barely moved as one would move in the presence of a fawn so as not to startle her. Almost two months have passed since the alliance with the Kuze clan. The Shinsengumi had thereby gained more authority and everything seemed to go well so far. As much as it could, because good does not always mean perfect. 

Since Lady Akabara was the Onna-Bugeisha of a respected family and a capable warrior, she was treated appropriately, but she was still the only woman here. In addition an attractive young woman. And that in turn gave cause for concern. In an all-male organization, she sometimes served as a distraction. In that sense, Hijikata ordered Saito to keep an eye on her. If anything happened to her, her father would probably command them all to commit honorable suicide, and that would be the happiest outcome. 

And so he covertly watched her without making too much contact. He knew she would not like that and she would probably be offended if she found out. But Hijikata had given Saito this task for a reason. He could do it without attracting attention because nothing seemed to have affected his usual behavior. But as he watched, his curiosity was piqued. He had personally witnessed her skill at martial arts and was impressed. And with most people in the area, she seemed to be getting along well. 

Saito would not even admit that, but when he thought of her, his heart rate rose. And he despised himself for it. However, he noticed that she had avoided him lately. Could she have suspected something? Or had he offended her somehow? A conversation with her might clarify the situation, but Saito was waiting for the right opportunity. It made more sense to talk to her when she was not surrounded by her henchman.

The opportunity came unexpected. Saito noticed that Akabara was sitting alone in the yard. She was lost in thought and for some reason looked depressed. Of course he had heard what was going on at the party and he had secretly formed his opinion. If he was not mistaken in his observations, the Emperor felt a certain interest in her.

He was not the best person to cheer up people, but he thought a little gesture of goodwill might lift her spirits. And besides, it might be a perfect opportunity to talk to her. He went to the kitchen and brewed tea with petals. Every time this tea was served during meals, Akabara had a taste for it. He put the cup and a small teapot on the tray and took them outside to the yard. 

"Excuse me, Kuze-dono. But I've noticed that you've been here for a long time. It's cold today. I have allowed myself to bring hot tea for you." 

Akabara was already shivering when she heard Saito's calm voice. Unnoticed, he had sneaked up onto her - a tray of tea in his hand. She shot up from her sitting position. It was disturbing to see him now in person, where her thoughts had been so intensely dominated by him. When he went silent for a moment, she realized he was expecting an answer from her. Uncertain what to do, she decided to at least accept his offered tea. It was a very polite gesture. He certainly had something on his mind. She knew he was secretly watching her. On the other hand, he did not know she knew it. But maybe he guessed that she knew. Akabara frowned and before she could prevent it, she gave a sound of surprise at the smell of freshly brewed rose tea. 

"That... is floral tea," she stated in astonishment She raised her eyes from the teacup to his face. In the darkness of the night, the piercing blue of his eyes looked like a place in the very eye of a storm. Reassuring and timeless. And above that was a pair of softly curved eyebrows. Quickly she dropped her eyes back to the teacup and reached for the tray. Saito watched her surprised reaction, but his expression remained the same unchanged. Their eyes met for a moment but all he could read was panic in her beautiful bright green eyes. He must have startled her and he apologized for that. 

He was somewhat amused by her surprised reaction when she saw the tea. It probably struck her as strange that he had kept in mind the tea she liked. But she still seemed pleased. "Caution, the tea is ..." Saito tried to warn her but she grabbed the cup too quickly "... hot." It was too late. She made a painful sound and pulled her hand away. Saito put the tray on the floor so that no more accidents could happen.

"May I see your hand? If something is wrong, we have to treat it immediately." 

Her eyes followed Saito as he carefully set the tray down. His question about her hand took some time to reach her. What ... what did he mean by that? Did he want to take her hand just because she had burned herself on a teacup? Was he really so worried about such a triviality or was she just not used to such kindness? At the thought of him touching her hand, Akabara turned bright red. No ... Saito just wanted to assure himself that her hand was alright. There was nothing wrong with that. To his surprise, she turned away and blushed. But she held out her hand anyway. He fully understood the cause of her bashfulness and took her hand. He examined her carefully, pressing his thumb against her fingers. 

"Does it hurt?" he asked while noticing that her hand was shaking slightly. She stiffened immediately as his warm, rough hand embraced hers. His hands were bigger than hers. She felt his thumb caressing her hand - almost imperceptibly - and lowered her eyes as she stared disbelieving at their joined hands. 

"No," she answered hastily and avoided looking at him. As he touched her palm, Saito felt the callouses that are typical of those who practice long sword fights. And yet her hand was so soft and elegant. Somehow it also fit so perfectly into his own ... They just stood there for a very long moment before Akabara looked from him to their hugging hands and pulled her hand away from his with a quick movement. She didn't know what to do, so she bowed her head and thanked him. 

"Thanks for the tea. I'll drink it as soon as it cools down," she muttered. When Akabara withdrew her hand, Saito was almost grateful for it because otherwise he would not be able to let go. He still felt guilty for her getting hurt because of his delayed warning. "Maybe we could let the tea cool down for a while. In the meantime, would you like to take a short walk?" 

"A walk?" she asked perplexed. She was wondering why. But...Hijikata had ordered Saito to supervise her. How she would love to go for a walk with him! But he had certainly asked for other reasons. She narrowed her eyes suspiciously and looked directly into his face. Her sober alertness helped her overcome his ice-blue eyes. "What's the use of a walk together?" A question formed in her head, but her eyes transmitted it pretty well. _Apart from the cooling of the tea?_

He met a look of suspicion and disbelief. It was clear she didn't feel comfortable around him. Normally he did not care how others perceived him but for some reason it was bothering him now. He wanted to spend some time with her, not only because it was his mission. But nothing of the inner restlessness showed in his expression, which remained as before stoic. "I understand. Forgive me my disrespect." 

He bowed and turned away to leave. Only then did Akabara realize how rude she had acted. When she saw him turn away from her, her stomach contracted uneasily. "I'm... sorry, that was inconsiderate," she whispered. "I thought you only asked because Hijikata-san told you to keep an eye on me. You don't have to walk with me just because he orders it." 

Saito stopped and turned back to Akabara. _So that's why..._ She had realized that he was monitoring her and now believed that everything he did was based on the commanding officer's command. He could not argue with her because she was right in some of her assumptions. But maybe it would make things easier.

"Please do not misunderstand me. It was just to keep you company while the tea is cooling down. My proposal still stands." 

"Well... then I accept the proposal," she informed him quietly, wondering if he noticed the strange bite of their conversation. He looked neither shocked nor surprised that Akabara had condemned him. Instead, he paused for a moment and smiled gently. Akabara realized she had never seen him smile before.

As they walked together through the quiet streets, Saito noticed that Akabara looked pensive. Maybe she regretted agreeing? It was really peaceful. The sky was clear and reflected in the water of the river so it looked endless. The cold air did not bother Saito, but he was a little worried about Akabara. Sometimes their hands touched while walking and her fingers were cold. It was too easy to forget the time in her presence. Her eyes were of a delicate eden-green in the evening light, not pungent as green eyes usually are, but of a gentle moon-like mica, Her half-moon eyebrows creased slightly as she realized he was staring at her. Saito was startled but couldn’t look away. 

She blinked her eyelashes slowly, as if weighing something. Once more he noticed her fleet-footed gait and the slight sway of her slender wrists as she walked beside him. He closed his eyes and saw her again, dancing. Akabara stopped at a small bridge and leaned against the railing of a bridge. She watched the glittering surface of the water for a while, concentrating on the chirping of the cicadas. Just beyond the bridge was another red bridge, framed by two large Shinto gates. Through the bright starlight the gates in their glowing red looked like two lances sticking out into the sky. 

"My father ordered Shinto gates to be built all over our home ... he's a superstitious man ..." she said. "But sometimes I have been there. And when I laid myself under a gate it seemed to me that the pillars of the gates could carry the whole sky. And suddenly I felt very small." It was just a memory of her childhood. Because whenever she struggled with herself and fulfilled her obligations, she remembered the moment of that feeling and suddenly she was much more than just a human being. She was part of something great, part of something ... whole. 

She crossed her arms hastily and cleared her throat, noting that she was playing with the band attached to the talisman her father had given her. Suddenly she felt the urge to throw it into the water with full force. The most miserable existence in freedom was so much better than this. Oh no. She wanted to clasp her hands to her head but she turned away with her arms crossed. After all, she had not seen Saito's reaction. 

Saito stood silently beside her as she spoke. And what she had said was surprising to him. He had noticed the yearning in her eyes. Did she miss her home so much? After all she had been in Mibu for almost two months now. Or was there something else? Somehow he had the feeling that he had only caught a glimpse of the side of hers that she did not want to show otherwise. She had talked about her childhood memories but then suddenly stopped. Her obvious embarrassment made him pay attention. Saito looked at her out of the corner of his eye and didn't change his position. He let his eyes stray again at the distant bridge. No. There was anger in her voice ... or ... despair? "There's nothing wrong with that," he finally said. „Immersing oneself in the radiance of nature and feeling like something else." Saito didn't know why exactly he told her that. It was a slip of the tongue. But something she said, or rather how she said it, had touched something in him and he wanted to let her know that she had no reason to be ashamed. However, when he was completely honest with himself, he also felt a bit awkward. As if he were confessing that he did the same as a child. 

Akabara smiled at his words. She liked how sensitive he was. Although he always seemed aloof and his cool style could be daunting, it were moments like these that made Akabara understand that he was very attentive when it came to caring for his fellow human beings. It was a kindness that camouflaged itself in silence, so as to not attract attention or to be obtrusive but it rang all the more powerful when one was touched by this kindness.

Akabara was about to ask Saito to return to the compound when a small bell rolled to her feet. This kind of bell usually hung on the obi of a dancing geisha. Shortly thereafter, a deep, hoarse voice sounded. 

"Come on, why don't you bend over and pick it up?" The voice and the bell belonged to a man with an oily grin. Behind him. his companions, five men, laughed loudly. Akabara crossed her arms over her chest and looked at the group of men. 

"You're drunk, go home and leave us alone," she pleaded politely. The leader came up to them and Akabara felt Saito approaching behind her. She knew he could intervene at any time but he did not want to provoke a fight. In such cases, it was better to react prudently. The man grinned wider and he was now standing in front of them. His eyes wandered uncomfortably long over Akabara's body and he noticed her sword. 

"Oh, what do we have there? Well, how about us? I could make you very happy." The man laughed again. "Don't look that way. I will not hurt you. We do not know each other yet, Lady." 

"And it should stay that way," she answered curtly. 

Saito admired her attempt to solve the situation peacefully, but her efforts were in vain. The men were too drunk to listen to the voice of reason. Probably they would only listen to the sword at their throat. Saito had never enjoyed killing but there were times when it was necessary. And now he had the feeling he could kill these men. 

"Kuze-dono, please come. We should go." Saito said quietly but controlled. 

He seemed calm, but his posture was tense. If any of these drunkards posed a danger to Akabara, his compassion would be limited. He still had the order of Hijikata to protect Lady Akabara. He also genuinely wanted her to be safe. 

Akabara turned and started to go with Saito. She had heard enough. But now the guy got mad. 

The rejected suitor stormed towards the running couple. Akabara took a step to the side, whereupon the assailant shot past her and Saito and before he could slow down his attack he dashed through the bridge's balustrade and landed in the water with a big _'Splash'_. Now the man's companions were upset. They also lunged at the two and Saito pulled his katana. He used the blunt side so as not to mortally hurt anyone. In the background he saw Akabara punching another man. 

In one moment of carelessness one of the men grabbed her by the neck and pushed her back. Akabara gasped and thrust her knee into his lap. The man collapsed and at the same moment two more strong arms grabbed her from behind and embraced her tightly. She staggered backwards, trying to free herself from the tight embrace as she and her captor lost their balance at the edge of the bridge. 

For a moment, time stopped and Akabara saw her own hair flying in front of her wide-open eyes before the rift of the moment caught her and plunged her into the lake with her attacker. In the fall, she gave a startled cry. 

She could not swim. 

Akabara's body was surrounded by icy water and she kicked wildly. But she sank quickly as she couldn't stay afloat. She could only see the light on the surface weakening. A glittering carpet of street lights and yellow spots whose edges frayed more with each meter she sank. Her hands were stretched upwards. But they only reached into emptiness. 

_I am drowning._

It was like a déjà vu. She'd had this scene in mind before, but it were not her hands that had reached into space. She opened her mouth in a silent scream. Saito! Saito! She immediately swallowed a mouthful of water. Her eyes blurred and her limbs became limp like the arms and legs of a doll. Darkness.

* * *

Saito focused on the two men who were attacking him. This seemed to be his fatal mistake. He should have kept a close eye on Akabara. One of the men who attacked them managed to grab Akabara and drag her along. It took only a heartbeat to disarm one of the men he was fighting with but he heard Akabara screaming for help. He looked at the water and saw her trot helplessly before sinking below the surface. Saito did not hesitate. Before the other man could attack, he jumped off the bridge. There was only one thing he needed to do now. Thanks to her red clothes, Saito managed to find Akabara under water. She did not even seem to be breathing, when Saito carried her to the riverbank. 

He knew there was a way to make a drowned person breathe again but he had never tried it himself. He looked at the girl. Normally he would ask for permission to touch her, but there was no time to waste. Her life was at stake. It turned out that she could not swim and when she fell into the water, she got water in her lungs. 

Saito took a deep breath and pressed his lips to hers. Her lips were... soft and cold. He inhaled, then compressed her chest several times and tried to give her more air. Please! As he lowered his mouth to hers again, he tasted the lovely flavour of her lips.

Hopefully she would never know of this. This was an emergency after all. He chose her life over social constraints and his own shyness. After a while colour returned to her cheeks. She coughed and spat some water. She was alive!

Out of the darkness of her powerlessness, Akabara was pulled back to the surface. She gasped and felt a burning pain in her chest. A rush of water broke out of her mouth and she coughed a few times. The first thing she saw when she opened her eyes were two clear blue eyes looking down at her worriedly. Second, she noticed that she was lying on her back. She put her hand on Saito's chest and tried to sit up.

Saito ... Saito had saved her from drowning. She owed her life to this man.

He helped her get up. To his grief, she refused to be carried off. All he could do was help her walk. Saito noticed that she was shaking. It was cool night air and her clothes were wet, but it only emphasized her delicate figure, No. No! Such thoughts were just wrong. 

The road was not far, but it seemed to take forever before the lights of the familiar home became visible. On the short, arduous way back to the compound they met Souji Okita. He looked surprised, but a mischievous grin lay on his lips as he studied Saito and Akabara. What was he doing here at night? 

"I saw it," Souji said and it looked almost predatory. 

"I'd prefer you said nothing right now." Saito wrapped his arm around Akabara's waist. She was now hovering between half-frozen and impending fainting.

"And help me bring her back as soon as possible." As Saito propped her up. Akabara staggered beside him. 

Both were soaked to the skin and Akabara felt the cold seep into her bones. She only experienced the rest of the way in a misty fog. Someone was there ... and spoke, but his voice was distorted as if her ears had suffered a trauma and she saw Okita's face hovering in front of her like a ghostly light. His face danced before her eyes and twisted into a sardonic grin. 

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she heard Saito's murmurs and tried to concentrate on his voice. She wanted to say thank you, but she was too occupied with remaining conscious to say a word. Souji wanted to say something, but followed Saito's request. Souji told Saito that he wanted to help when he discovered the fight on the bridge. Unfortunately, he had been too far away to get there in time. However, this did not explain what he had been doing out there in the first place, but Saito let it go this time. He would think about it later. The most important thing was to bring Lady Akabara to her room. She did not seem hurt, but she was definitely cold and Saito could not help it because his own clothes were drenched as well. After all, they were able to dampen the cold a bit by Souji putting his garments over Lady Akabara's shoulders. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbR5NKz6XN8


End file.
